Pale Blue Dot

I’m swallowed whole by loss of scale, by how tiny I am, how brief I am...

photo NASA remastered The Pale Blue Dot

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I’ve been trying to see the pale blue dot
as it is for months now,
but I can’t,
yet.

Before the turn of this century
Voyager 1 glanced back
at its place of birth
took a few more photos, sent them home
before sweeping off into the greater endless.

There we are,
the tiniest blue dot
not in a sea of stars and galaxies
but in the reality of blackness,
emptiness
not suspended or floating - what floats in nothingness?
just here
being unlikely and impossible in every way.
Not embarrassed but brilliant blue
an expression of magic beyond what can be known
by any one of us.

I look, but I can’t see it,
not really.

I’m swallowed whole by loss of scale
by how tiny I am,
how brief I am
against the great blackness that holds us.

Some part of me can feel it though,
the nothing that somehow must be love,
because here we are.

The endless everything
that holds all of us
can’t truly be empty
we just don’t see what’s there,
like a fish that can’t see the ocean.

So I stare at this gift from Voyager 1
with my small eyes
that are not even big enough
to be specs
in this universe.

What if the vastness of space
is ripeness,
infinitely
wonderfully
pregnant
with everything that can be,
a sea of possibilities
just waiting to be kissed
by that special someone
?

This place, our place, my place
made of children and dogs and cats
and green things and rotting things
and warmth and always possibilities
was somehow
just a kiss,
offered in whimsy,
wrapped in a deep knowing
of what might follow.

At night I turn the soft gestures
of all of these beloved beings
wrapped in blueness
floating in the everything
that is also nothing
into small clouds I can hold
and drift on
as I sleep.

We all struggle to see
how big we are
how small we are
on this pale blue dot
with meaning woven
and disappearing
into the endless night we all share,
but I never struggle to hold you and me
and all of these possibilities
that make up the ocean of darkness
we call home.