Ring Jealous

I still rub the ghost of my own ring...

Photo by Mattia on Unsplash

read or listen:

I sat with you and your problems
staring at that one finger,
nodding as if I heard you,
studying the ring
that said you were companioned in life.

I won’t make you uncomfortable,
it's not about that.
I want something I can’t have,
for now.

The first year I was ring jealous all the time.
I didn’t know I could ever feel a need so strong,
to be one of two again.

I nodded at so many people
who never knew,
I was cradling the pang in my heart
with felt-filament hands,
so I wouldn’t be too angry
for you being so married – just married.

No such thing as “just” married anymore.

So much time has passed,
but I still rub the ghost of my own ring,
like a part of me was lopped off
when she died.

Maybe not jealous now,
just a little hungry for someone
to say “yes”
when I ask them about love.