The strangest thing happens when I share widely anything I've written about grief, be it an essay or a poem. I get attacked by a few people, often religious, who are very orthodox in their approach to life. Somehow exploring grief, diving deep, is turning away from God.
“Sadly , I know people whose entire lives and identities center around their loss. If it [grief] were good , the Holy Bible would not offer us a way to escape it and its crippling effects. I stand by my comment : it [grief] is a thief , stealing our enjoyment of life , our relationships , careers , and in worst cases , our very existence.”
My reader thinks the things that make up a good life will be lost if grief is given too much leeway. Doctrine gives us a way to escape grief. Therefor grief must be bad.
Yet so many mystics of various traditions crossed through grief as their final gateway to a tangible experience of spirit in their lives. The loss of God (for the seeker - the ultimate loss), then His discovery is detailed in St. John’s poem “The Dark Night of the Soul.”'
The widely know figure of the Weeping Buddha is based on a story of a warrior who unintentionally kills his own son in battle. His ensuing grief brings him to Buddhism, his suffering becomes a symbol for receiving and acknowledging the suffering of the world as a necessary step on the path to enlightenment.
Even modern psychology recognizes grief as a potential gateway to a deeper experience of life for many people.
For our most ancient ancestors grief was inescapable. I think the spiritual connections they felt with each other and their communities were as tangible and nourishing as food and water. I don’t think that is possible without honoring grief in its fullness.
Answering the unanswered call of grief is important work for any culture that longs for spirituality, authenticity, and deep familial and community connections.
Can we surrender to griefs weight and still cherish what is spiritually powerful in life? I think we can. From 31 Poems About Grief, #2 I Rise for Them.
You're doing such profoundly important work Tim. Today I'm especially appreciating all you had to live before you could reflect and articulate it the way you do. Not that you weren't while you are in it, but the perspectives you're offering these days are vital indeed to how we are living. As evidenced, for one thing, by how they're shaking people up. Thank you, thank you.